Poetry: Loneliness by Devishi Kapoor

Loneliness

Suffocating in a crowded room,

Barely breathing under the sheets.

Hoping for a hand,

But pushing it away.

Don’t dare to try to help me,

For I know you won’t stay.

My head hurts and my jaw cracks,

I wave hello and smile good night.

Where did you go yesterday?

I waited all the while.

I needed you, I expected you rather.

That, alas, makes it my fault.

He comes to visit me

As I lie alone in bed every night;

Clenching my teeth

For the unwelcome visitor

Slips under my covers

Already declaring himself the victor.

Striking my forehead,

Lifting my shirt,

Touching every part unheard.

Clenching my legs, I cannot move,

For the constant agonising pain in my throat,

Strips me of my peace and hope.

I lie there, pretending its a dream

But it isn’t, you see…

How would you see though?

You weren’t there.

Maybe if you stopped by once in a while

He’ll stop coming.

Pouncing on me like a hungry tiger on its prey,

He climbs up my back,

And down my breast;

The physical pain down my spine,

Can’t begin to match,

The vandalising havoc in my mind.

Belief in myself and those around

Not worth a speck,

For they all watch in plain daylight

With not an attempt to make him stop

I do not blame them-

For they cannot see.

They cannot see,

And I do not speak,

Of the wretched he that abuses me.

His name is long, a little eerie,

And every night when he leaves,

He takes with him, a small part of me.

Devishi Kapoor is a Product Design student with a passion for material innovation and sustainability. She is currently working in the field of user interface and interaction design for digital products. An amateur writer who writes at her caprice, she often finds solace in hiding behind words and pictures. Always looking to up-skill herself by digging in a variety of academic content, her hobbies include painting in watercolour and playing the ukulele.