Fiction: this neighborhood makes me want to get a boobjob 🏠

By Jesse Larkins

There’s a bird outside my window.

I feel like I’m in a Disney movie.

Maybe if I’m friendly it’ll come in and dress me.

The mice would say hi

We could have a montage where I try on clothes.

I’m tired.

The bird woke me up.

There’s a scratch on the glass of the window now.

Was it pecking at it?

It stares at me.

It’s a pigeon.

…

My mom doesn’t get it.

She’s very old fashioned

I don’t want to fuck any of these guys

They’re just my friends

Well two of them are

Since elementary school

They would go to jail for me

They have

The third guy is their friend

Cody

A hockey player

I’d seen him before but now I know him

And I can’t live at home forever

I’m 24

How did it take this long to move out

What’s that one saying?

Arrested development?

…

I scroll through the Met Gala runway pics

Who are you?

Cardi B?

Looks cute

Survivor is playing

I forget what season

This dumb fucking whore

Some people can’t keep it in their pants

…

I was a Cold Stone girl

They only hire cute girls to work the front

That’s what people want to see

I quit

Start doordashing

This doesn’t last long either

Now I just draw furry porn

Some people will buy anything

I don’t even think it’s that good

It’s just graphic

I make sure there are little bunny tears

Tight bunny pussies bouncing on big bunny cocks

…

I start seeing this cute guy I met on tinder

He’s a starving artist

He just isn’t starving.

And he hasn’t made anything in years.

We meet at Panera

He gets us green passion smoothies and we talk about the Will Smith slap.

…

My roommates aren’t home

We sneak into Cody’s room

He doesn’t have a password for his laptop

We check his history

It’s all smut

Well not smut

The most recent is a gangbang at a wedding

The bride is passed out

The guys are giggling and drinking

The quality is trash

Filmed on a flip phone

They all fuck her

Cum in discreet places

Then her pubic mound

Her braided hair

They bet on which spot she’ll notice first

The dress is ruined

I imagine what it took to get her that dress

Maybe she’s just a whore

Some dumb bitch in a porno

Pretending to get raped

And I’m just a sucker

We scroll through his history

There’s a video of a woman getting fucked by a horse

We watch it a little too long

I still think about it

…

Will you be my metalcore whore?

Of course daddy

He takes me to a punk show

AbortionHanger

They’re okay I guess

It’s my first time in a mosh pit

Sweaty large men

Veins pulsing

We’re all colliding

I lose my glasses for a song

I’ll wake up to bruises

He buys me a t shirt

Gushes over them at the merch table

He’s never been this excited

Not that I’ve seen

…

We watch Aristocats.

It’s not as good as we remember.

Have you heard that joke?

What joke

The aristocrats

No

He tells it

I smile

It’s not that funny

I start rubbing his crotch

Unbuckle his jeans

He stretches out and I pull them down

I could eat him

I suck his dick.

He holds my hair back.

Strands of it stick to the shaft with saliva

I get up and straddle him.

Work him inside me.

He fucks me.

It’s not what I was expecting

It’s its own thing

I’m happy.

He has to go but he says he’ll text me.

As soon as you get home please

Of course honey.

He kisses my sweaty forehead and leaves.

I put on Conan interviewing Jack Black

There’s a knock at my door

It’s Frank

Do you want to fuck

No. How many times do I have to tell you

Sorry I’m drunk

Sure I say.

Didn’t you just fuck someone?

Yeah?

So what? You’re not in the mood? I took Bio.

And?

You’re still horny.

Please fuck off.

Okay I’m sorry.

I close my door and climb back under the covers.

…

It’s thanksgiving

I’m 11

My uncle says

Wow you’ve grown up so much

He stares at my tits

The whole dinner I hate myself

I feel him the whole time

I get some green bean casserole

I can tell he’s checking out my ass

I want to crumple myself up like a wad of paper

But I also kind of like it

…

The pigeon wakes me up

It wakes us all up

It has a schedule

Finn and Jake enter the candy kingdom

Cody has his feet on the coffee table

Is that pigeon outside your window?

Yeah. Did it wake you up?

I’m gonna kill that fucking thing

Ohmygod no please don’t. I’ll get rid of it.

Okay. If you don’t I will. And you won’t like how I do it.

I believe him.

…

He ghosts me

I don’t see him for weeks

I want to text him but I want him to text me.

I’m stronger than whatever image he has of me.

He can go fuck himself

But I love him

His jawline

…

I imagine Cody fucking me

He pins me against my bed with his hockey stick

Cutting off my oxygen

His big fat cock slipping in and out of me

Maybe he has a small dick

I stop rubbing myself

…

Dad says I was suckling from the tit  

Huh?

He says I relied on mom and him for too long

I still need you I say

I know but look at you

He’s so proud

I left the nest

He takes a big bite of burger

Now that’s real good

He asks if I have anything to tell him

It could be anything in the world

I tell him I’m ready to become a witch

I want to cast spells

He laughs

I’ve been watching the videos online though

Im convinced I’ll be able to by the end of the week

…

I go drinking

It’s me and the guys

I love my guys

They drive me fucking crazy too

They are so loud

Im too trashed to drive now

So are they

They get an Uber

I call him

…

We wait for him outside the bar

We shit talk

Why do girls put tampons soaked in alcohol up their pussies?

Gets you drunker

Duh

His car pulls up

Is that him?

Cody sounds jealous

Like a child

It sure is

He’s like a pie on the window sill

I can’t help it

I float to him

I also hate him

Fuck him

But I’m going to fuck his brains out

I want him to relinquish control

I’ll take care of everything

…

I’m getting dropped off early.

There’s my favorite niece

I like it when he stares

I smile

I can’t wait to get inside

…

We get back to the house

We have plenty of time to fuck before the boys are dropped off

We talk about Dogme 95

I had never heard of it

I knew the guys in it and some of their shit

I could listen to this boy for hours.

I tell him that.

He grins

It’s a little annoying but I want to grab him

He’s mine

I can’t let him be anyone else’s

Please don’t leave me

I’ve only ever wanted you

I think these things but would never say them

Who does he think he is?

…

The next day we go antiquing

We get tacos from the food truck

We see dogs at a pet store

Dream about raising one together

Laugh about dreaming

We see a movie

An Agatha Christie mystery

We go driving

He takes me through the suburbs

Rows of identical houses

They’re so ugly

It turns me on

I can see myself in one of these houses

A little soccer mommy

Wine in my coffee mug

Gossiping with my gal pals

Ohmygod did you hear about so and so?

If she thinks she’s getting back her casserole dish she has another thing coming

I’d get implants

I’d turn on all the 12 year olds

Jog every morning around the cul-de-sac

My lululemons

My “juicy” catour track suit

Like Paris Hilton

I want you to stare at my round ass

That’s why I bought this

…

At night he takes me to his friends gallery

It’s pretentious

We both think so

We see him and tell him it’s so good

No! Seriously! It reminds me of some of the more abstract—expressionist Jackson Pollacky-type of work! I’m very into it!

I’m accepted by his friends

I don’t like them but I want them to like me

He thanks me

I let him squeeze my ass when no one is around

When we have our backs to walls

These post modernists are so lazy

…

I’m watching cartoons downstairs

Cody comes in

What are you watching?

He says this with disgust

Okay bro

I just ignore him

He plops down next to me

A little too close

There’s a glass of milk on the table

Room temperature

When did he pour it?

I’ve been here awhile

He drinks it slowly

I hate that shit

I don’t like the idea of milking something

This show is for kids he says

I mean okay?

Belches.

Leaves.

…

We cook together

He’s pretty good at chopping

I imagine him sticking the knife in me

First in my side while I’m not looking

I look like Dorothy

Blue and white checkered dress

Then he sticks it right in my fucking head

Oh shit! He’s genuinely surprised

I was not expecting that

He watches me bleed out everywhere

He picks me up off the floor

Sorry sweetie!

Stitches me up

Gives me Vicodin

That’s my angel

…

Frank’s mom dies

We all go to the funeral

I call my mom the whole week

Just checking in

It feels good to be so connected to her now

We run out of things to talk about

That makes me feel even better

…

My aunt has work today

It’s okay though

It’s better that way

He lays a pillow on the floor

I lay my stomach on it

He puts on the goofy movie

The beginning gives me nightmares

Where the son becomes his dad

One tooth at a time

I watch it anyway

I want to be older than I am

He starts rubbing my back

Loosens my overalls

…

We get drunk

We watch a fucked up movie

A baby falls out a window

A guy gets his dick cut off

It’s beautiful

I wake up

His fingers are inside me

What are you doing?

It’s the last time we see each other.

…

It’s too big

It tears me apart

To pieces

There’s so much blood

No no don’t worry it’s okay

I’ll take care of everything

And I let him

…

There is a big mess in front of the house

Right before you open the door

On the welcome mat

I step over it and go inside.

Cody walks by

What happened to the pigeon I ask.

Hockey stick.

I go to my room.

I cry.

I’ll move out soon.

I just need work.

Jesse Larkins is a writer and filmmaker from Detroit, MI. He loves dogs.