Poetry: Selections from Michael Pollentine

Nodding

“you need to start standing up for yourself,”

his venom words.

I nod.

the incident:

some large businessman’s distaste

at my dishevelled addled

clobber,

forced my hand

a few inches

down the hand

rail

on the bus

from the airport

to the carpark

with the residue

of 20 pills,

bass,

coke,

alcohol,

Marlboros

licking my system

awake,

too fucked to respond

I just didn’t care

before the flight

escorted out back

two security staff

in my mind now,

look like twins

still

the slap of latex gloves

coating hands

form shaking,

not through nerves,

in fact I fronted them out,

made them repeat their foreign words

in English,

before I signed shit

but the drugs ripping me asunder

was too much

really must give up

then out amongst the crew,

ribbing the Schlong

(handle a whole other story)

passengers’ orbs

cast

judgment

the car drive

nodding,

spliff

ash

failing

every time

to leave the window

blowback

“not gettin’ any on my seats are you?”

nod uncomfortable,

extinguishes in my fingers

at home

codeine

a lover’s name

slips me under

its calming words

I missed you so much

I missed you so much

I nod.

Harsh Truths

the harsh truth is

I was devastated when you left

like nothing

because

you withdrew

my value

as a man

a practical nurse

removing

a catheter

freckled eyes

stern smile

attractive

older

like a film star

Maureen O’Hara

or Kirsten Dunst

crossed with Julianne Moore

the pure white

period of magic

is something I value

like your skin

or paper

and when you left

it was just right

and although I loved

I desired more

you next to me

in others’ eyes

embarrassing

and shameful

wherever you are

be assured

you carry my worth

my thanks,

my apologies,

my desire

that your life

is everything  

you desire

and I no longer care

if you think of me

because

why should you?

but you were

beautiful.

Fits and Starts

at times

a tidal wave

crashes

and I sob

for ten seconds

exact

wipe

my eyes

and resume

life.

Michael Pollentine’s poetry has featured in Outcast Press magazine (Vol. 9 – where it also won Best Poem), A Thin Slice of Anxiety, Bristol Noir, Terror House Magazine, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Roi Fainéant Press, Bear Creek Gazette, Don’t Submit, Black Scat Review, Alien Buddha Press (Alien Buddha Skips the Party Part 2, and Zine #42) and many others. He lives in South Wales with his wife.