Fiction: Selections from Peter Cherches

At the Coffee Shop, After the Film

            A character in the film reminded him of a former coworker. Trying to remember the guy’s name, he briefly spaced out on the film. He wondered what the character who reminded him of his former coworker might have said to the woman in the green dress, when he was trying to remember the guy’s name, to make her so angry. He didn’t dwell on it. When the credits were rolling, he remembered the former coworker’s name. Claude. But what was his last name?

            At the coffee shop after the film, he ordered a BLT. He associated BLTs with old-style coffee shops, the kind with Formica counters and swivel stools and faux-leather-upholstered booths. His wife ordered apple pie and a cup of coffee. Somehow, drinking coffee at night didn’t keep her awake. The apple pie was topped with whipped cream. “So what did you think?” she asked him.

            “What do you mean?”

            “You know, the movie. What did you think?”

            “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of liked it.”

            “That’s it?”

            “What do you want me to say?”

            “I’d like to discuss the film. Just once. You never want to talk about films. Don’t you know that’s part of the fun, discussing it afterwards?”

            “Anthony,” he replied. “Claude Anthony.”




A Fallen Raviolo

            A raviolo fell off his fork and onto his pants, red sauce and all. Damn, he thought. With his napkin, he lifted the raviolo off his leg and mopped up the sauce as best he could while his wife looked on. “I’m going to the men’s room to try to do something about these pants,” he told her.

            “All right,” his wife replied as she returned to her linguini with clams.

            The men’s room didn’t have any paper towels. It had one of those annoying hand dryers. It was one of the decent ones at least, Dyson, but it was useless for the purpose at hand. So he got a wad of toilet paper from one of the stalls and put it under the faucet to wet it. He rubbed the red spot on his leg. The paper started falling apart, shedding on his leg. He now had a pant leg with diluted red sauce and toilet paper sludge. Damn, he thought. He went through the whole process again, without quite understanding why. Then he got yet another wad of toilet paper, but this time he didn’t add water. He rubbed at the wet spot with red sauce traces and toilet paper sludge. It got some of the gunk off, but left new toilet paper trails. That was about as good as he could manage, he figured. He’d have to live with it for the time being and drop it off at the dry cleaners on the way to work the following morning.

            He exited the bathroom and walked quickly back to the table, looking around, to see if he was being stared at. No, he didn’t think so. He sat back down and nonchalantly continued to eat his remaining ravioli, occasionally touching his leg to see if it was any drier, while his wife passionately slurped linguini.

            When the couple had finished their pasta, the waiter asked if they’d like some dessert. “Yes,” they said, in near unison. The waiter nodded, said, “Excellent,” left, and returned shortly with dessert menus. 

            She chose the tiramisu, and he ordered peaches in port, mainly because he hadn’t seen it on a menu in many years.




Dinner, on His Own

            She was in Philadelphia, visiting her mother, so he went to a restaurant for dinner, on his own. It was not a fancy restaurant, he reserved fancy restaurants for special occasions. But it wasn’t a dump, nor was it a hole-in-the-wall. It was a pleasant spot, the kind of place he’d have called a bar-restaurant. He was seated by the hostess at a small square table. When the server approached and welcomed him he ordered a pint of Guinness. He perused the menu. There were burgers, sandwiches, and salads, as well as entrees, like pasta and roast chicken. His friend Jacques, who grew up in Paris, once said to him, with indignation, “You Americans, why do you call the main course an entree? An entree is what you Americans call an appetizer.” After more than 40 years in the USA and citizenship, he still said, “You Americans.”   

            When the server returned with his Guinness he ordered a chicken and grilled peppers panini with fontina cheese. He said “panini,” as it was written on the menu, even though he knew the singular in Italian is panino, not panini, and that ordering a panini was like saying, “A chicken sandwich, please.”

            After he finished his panino, which he quite enjoyed, the server asked him if he’d care for any dessert or coffee.

            “Yes, an espresso, please,” he said.

            “Can I bring you a biscotto with that?”

            She said biscotto! He wanted to kiss her. Maybe even marry her. Then he remembered his wife, in Philadelphia.






Peter Cherches' latest book is Everything Happens to Me, an episodic novel about the misadventures of a Brooklyn writer named Peter Cherches.

 

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